When I first arrived in Kosovo, it was difficult to not feel at home. While my surroundings were different, there was something about the energy and liveliness of the place that was comforting and familiar. As a point of personal interest, I took note of the way women conducted themselves in public, which was in fact exactly as they do in Canada. In fact, I found that people here are even more social and outgoing then what I had been accustomed to – the bars and cafes are brimming with young energetic people having a wonderful time at all times of the day.

But this can be very misleading for a girl in my position. My travels up to this point have been confined to North America and Western Europe and I would say that I’ve been relatively sheltered from foreign conceptions of gender relations. Of course I’m aware that conceptions of gender roles in society vary greatly, but I’d never before been immersed in a culture where my gender is not simply a genetic fact, but something that is viewed as defining my state of personhood. I should also point out that this is a generalization; especially with the people I’ve gotten to know well, the observations below do not necessarily stand.

Perhaps a little historic background would be useful at this point. As you might know, Kosovo is primarily a Muslim country, although religion seems to play a minimal role in the every day lives of people here. Thus the social norms are often seen as rooted in cultural heritage, not religion. This was interesting to me, as I had always associated conservative notions of gender roles as being somehow linked to a particular religious orientation, regardless of the particular religion in question. To what degree this secularism was prevalent 10 years ago, I’m not entirely certain. My co-worker, however, explained how a decade ago, the idea of the virgin woman was not only valued, but a necessary characteristic of a prospective wife. A decade isn’t a long time, and since then the country’s official stance on the issue of gender relations has changed with remarkable speed. The Constitution of Kosovo expressly declares its commitment to gender equality, as do local officials. The problem, however, is that the change has come from above, from the government and the international presence in Kosovo, and not from below. Many of the people still live in a world where the public life is one of unbound freedom and westernized notions of equality, which conflicts with the private life, which is at least in part dominated by traditional customs.

That is where I made my mistake. I assumed that what I saw every day on the street was a sign of how they were like me. I assumed that how people acted publicly was a sign of their belief in the values I hold, rather than just a demonstration of the change and transition the people are undergoing. It was really difficult for me to wrap my head around the situation I found myself in, because there were conflicting indicators coming from every direction. The office I work with is at least half female. The women are young, bright, university educated, and seem to have the world at their fingertips. Women on the street talk about everything and anything with anyone, and dress in any way they like. Yet underneath it all, I most definitely felt the Old Boy’s Club vibe. I even came across a few who expressed their belief that I was genetically predisposed to best fulfill the role of wife and mother. In relationships, the idea of a man cheating on his girlfriend is remarkably common and it seems almost an accepted norm. I truly could not understand how these two worlds could co-exist. What I’ve come to realize is that it isn’t so much two worlds, as a conflicting state of transition.

When I asked for an explanation of their personal beliefs on the roles of women, I wasn’t given a really clear answer. It wasn’t religion, sometimes it wasn’t even culture, and it most definitely wasn’t facts. It was just a “feeling” or a general discomfort with the idea of the gender order changing quite so radically. I believe that there is a more concrete explanation for why many men, and some women, believe what they believe. Either they were simply not comfortable discussing it with me, or not comfortable discussing it in general, as they are aware of how the views conflict with what they’re really “supposed” to think.

Kosovo is an almost perfect example of women coping with the “double burden” – they are often forced to take on both professional responsibilities and the burdens of caring for a family and a home. With a 40% unemployment rate, it is only practical that any person, regardless of gender, who can hold a job, should do so. Resources are scarce for the majority of people so the idea that a woman should simply stay at home when she could be doubling the family income seems to be a definitively outdate notion. On the other hand, the idea that women are natural caregivers is still prevalent and a men helping out in the domestic arena is more a sign of his goodwill as opposed to an obligation.

Further, 69% of the above-mentioned 40% unemployment rate is women, and 60% of the female workforce overall is engaged in unskilled labour. 99.3% of rural women in Kosovo with a high school degree are unemployed. While this can be partially attributed to their work in the agricultural sector, the majority of women are found to not have any ownership over primary resources. With the OSCE’s introduction of the quota system, women now make up around 28% of candidates in central and local elections, but the number of women that proceed beyond that initial step (only 1 out of 17 Ministers is a woman) is demonstrative of a pervasive attitude that requires more than a quota system to change. Source.

An additional dynamic that should be considered is the political one. Official recognition of Kosovo as a state, and their integration into the international system, is of the utmost importance. It wouldn’t be appropriate for a country attempting to enter the EU to publicly declare that they prefer their women in the kitchen. It is imperative for Kosovo to meet EU standards in every sector, and this includes in the area of gender relations. The problem again, however, is that all this requires is a public declaration of support of EU values and a superficial attempt to implement social change at the official level. It requires no other action on the part of the government to really institute change. In their report on women, war, and peace, Elisabeth Rehn and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf quoted a Kosovar woman as saying "It is amazing that the international community cared only about Kosovar women when they were being raped and then only as a some sort of exciting story. We see now that they really don't give a damn about us. What we see are men from Europe and American and even Asia listening to men from Kosovo. Why is it so politically incorrect to ignore Serbs, but culturally sensitive to ignore the concerns of women?" Source.

I know that the situation I’ve described is much worse in many areas of the world – I’m sure in many of the places that fellow ILPers currently find themselves. But what struck me most, and motivated me to discuss the issue, is the harsh intersection of worlds and customs, where it wasn’t the government and the institutions that had to adapt as a result of pressure from the people, but a case where gender progressiveness accelerated at a faster rate than the regular citizen could adapt. I don’t think I am in any way qualified to advocate for either the administrative or grass-roots approach to social change - in fact I’m more inclined to believe that every situation demands its own personal approach. But what this experience has taught me is that while it is important to have the proper institutional framework that allows for the advancements of women’s rights, there are definitive drawbacks to a movement that is not backed by the passionate motivations of the people.